It got really hot in here

For James's birthday party this year (vs. his actual birthday celebrated at Chuck-e-Cheese), I decided to do hold the weekend after his birthday aka not on the 4th of July weekend. We rented the same giant water slide from his first birthday which arrived at 7:00 am that morning. The boys slept until 8 (which they never do). I am not the least bit bitter about it, can't you tell? I guess we did get our money's worth!

So, it turns out that if you have a party on a non-holiday weekend, people show up. Like, a lot of people. We had about 24 kids plus their corresponding parents in my house.  Not outside, but IN my house. The water slide lasted exactly 30 minutes for the majority of the kids (except Miles, thankfully). The three year olds started it by coming inside and insisting on getting dressed. Not just to get cool, no, they wanted to get fully changed.

Vince was the lifeguard at the bottom of the slide, making sure that kids waited their turn and didn't go down head first. Liv stood at the front door welcoming everyone inside. This was after she had iced all the cupcakes. Where was I? Talking to all my friends and trying to pretend it was not 82 degrees in the house. I told them both that I didn't know what I would have done without them!

James wanted to have Team Umizoomi as his theme this year. Well, technically he wanted Umizoomi and Spider-Man both as themes. No. You get one theme and we go with it. My one concession was to let him have a left over Spider-Man candle on top of his pink cupcake.

Generous. I am so, so generous.

James is very into pink everything this year, so he only wanted pink cupcakes. Obviously, I ignored that and had Liv ice them in pink, green and blue; the Umizoomi colors. Topped with some rings from Etsy, and they were done.

For the party favors, I kept it simple and just grabbed a bunch of James's favorite things, figuring what one three year old likes, others would as well. So in went a lollipop, cheddar-blasted Goldfish, a bouncy ball and fruit snacks. Side note: James 100% balked at my organic fruit snacks. Sorry, party goers.

Team Umizoomi is a team of tiny super heros that save Umicity using math. I am not kidding. They do a lot of measuring, counting and geometry. Geo does a lot of shape creating via his shape belt. I found a link on Pinterest to make belts like the one that Geo wears. It is orange with shapes all around it. I, of course, have no pictures of mine, because I finished them the night before.

For the record I would like to state that I whole-heartedly disagree with the no-favors moment. I am sure I actually didn't need to state that, you all get me. I love to do the favors. It is fun for me. I don't care what other people give out (at all) and you could throw a bag of chips at my children and they would scream, "BEST FAVORS EVER!!". So again, let's all just calm down.

You guys, I can't even tell you how hot it got in my house. I was sweating like a fool. Everyone was crowded into the hottest part of my house (on a good day it is 77 degrees back here) and opening and closing the doors. I was so mortified. However,  no one (but the pregnant lady, sorry Lanie!) seemed in a hurry to leave, so I guess everyone was just used to be hot in July.

The finale of the party was a piñata . Oh, you are wondering where it is? Alex is holding it. In his hands. While James swings a bat at him.

So, a homemade piñata was not part of my party vision. Especially a tiny one that was not strong enough to be hung on a rope.

The weekend before the party, Zach asked if we could make a piñata, for fun. I said sure and looked up how to make paper mache. We had an old Chick-fil-a helium balloon lazily floating around the house, so I grabbed that we set to work. I didn't add glue to the mix, because this was just for fun! It didn't need to be strong!

We got elbow deep in paper mache, coating the entire balloon. We let it dry, Zach painted it, then we popped the balloon. About this time Alex walked in and said, "Oh, you guys are making a piñata for James's party!" Zach got so excited and what I could do? Say, ummmm, sorry, but this is not my vision plus I did the paper mache wrong? Nope, hence us having a globe looking ball for an Umizoomi birthday party that pulled off its string a minute before we tried to hang it up.

The boys and I went to the store and I let them pick two kinds of hard candy to include. And really, all the kids liked it and Alex got his due for suggesting it, by having to hold it.

Why does someone always end up shirtless?

Seriously, it is Easter, James.

Easter. Where is your shirt??

Well, anyway, Easter was fun this year. I think I got more excited than the boys about hunting for eggs and might have set my alarm for a tad early. Did you know it is still dark at 6:00 am? Me neither. Well it is, so I just laid there until 6:30 when I could sneak out and hide the eggs. Where was Alex you ask? Passed out like a drunk person (he was not) next to me. He said he would get up, but him being "quiet" is like a moose being quiet and I was not ready to explain why I was carrying a bag full of eggs to Zachary. Wayyyyy too many questions.

When they did wake up they immediately took out the inflatable punching gloves the Easter bunny brought them.

They also received the finest toys Walgreens had to offer. A dino water gun, an Easter skateboard key chain and a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle that lights up. Oh and some minion eggs the Easter bunny forgot to do and didn't finish until midnight before Easter. That bunny really needs to work on time management.

Oh, sweet matching shirts with monograms....hidden by giant punching gloves and mohawks. Can you hear my sighing all the way over there?

 Later that morning the Sonderfan/Gallun's came over for our annual Easter brunch. I love this tradition we started. We all bring food and the kids just play and play, which we means we can chat and chat.

I, of course, tried to get crafty and made cupcakes with green frosting, like my mom used to. I put out all sorts of toppings and let the kids decorate. All was fine, if messy, until Harper put a gum egg in her mouth. This is a photo of her doing just that.

She is so, so proud of herself.

Until Jennifer had to go digging it out making her very angry at Jennifer's choices.

The morning culminated with the annual smash-the-confetti-eggs-on-Grandpa Bruce's head. As the boys are getting bigger this tradition is getting a tad more rough. But still amusing.

Quiet a difference from two years ago

Spring Break tried to kill me

I do not know how you people do this. And by "you people" I mean people who spend an entire week with their children, voluntarily. Every other spring break I have had the luxury of daycare still being in session. So, I would take a few days off, pretend I was a stay at home mom, then send them back to school.

Then came this year. Spring Break was three weeks ago and just now can I bring myself to think about it.

By Friday I could not even look at my children. When Alex left for work that morning I asked when he would be home and when he replied "normal time" (which is stupid as he does not have a normal time), I might have shrieked at him "IT HAS BEEN A VERY LONG WEEK!!!". He then ran down the sidewalk to his car. I can't imagine why.

Oh the week started with the best of intentions. We went to Galveston, had a great time but were a bit sick of each other by Sunday. Please recognize that as foreshadowing.

I had signed Zach up for three half day camps Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday and planned to leave James with a babysitter on Friday to spend some time with just him. I really thought I had this all under control. You know how I do.

Let me break down where it all went wrong.....

Monday - We had to go to the Rodeo. And I mean HAD to go. KK made me purchase half price carnival tickets from Uncle Chris (whom I still have not paid back, whoops) so I had 150 carnival tickets to burn. On the first day of spring break. Do you feel the anxiety in your belly too?

Well, turns out it was actually a perfect day. The weather started off bad which scared people off so no one was there. We didn't wait for any ride, spent all our tickets and came home with about five stuffed salamanders.

First stop was to get Zach a new cowboy hat. James has taken over his old one, as it was too tight for that big Wall head.

I heart this picture so much. That is the smile I am always trying to get out of him.

The boys rode the ponies.

Saw some baby chicks being born,

And rode mini-tractors and mopeds.

We came home and our baby sitter came early so Alex and I could go to dinner.

Monday = excellent.

Tuesday, Zach had his first day of gymnastics camp so we dropped him off, along with his friend Charley. Ashley, Annie, James and I headed to the Y to exercise. We got our cars washed and ate a Carraba's, then scooped up the big kids and headed home for naps.

I got a bit cocky after Tuesday, I admit it. Two days in and we were having a great time!

Wednesday ruined the entire week. Zach went back to gymnastics camp (which was awesome, PS and he loved it) and James and I hit the grocery, had lunch, then picked up Zach. As mentioned, I got cocky and thought we could, for sure, go downtown to meet Alex for lunch at 12:30, still getting James home in time to nap AND for Zach's friend to come over at 2:30. I was so, so wrong.

Alex was in a meeting, that claimed he could not get out of, so he was running late. By the time we got home it was 2:00 and I had 30 minutes to try to straighten the house, make Zach rest his body a bit and put James down.

Disaster. James could hear all the commotion when the friend came over and refused to sleep. I didn't even fight him on it. Zach's friend from school had not done anything that day so he was wound up and ready to run while my child had been running since 9am and was done. It was our worst play date by far. So many tears. We finally took them all up to a local frozen yogurt place just to see if a change of scenery would be helpful. It was, a little.

I was now terrified. I had two more days plus the weekend with these children and I clearly did not know what I was doing.

Thursday, Zach was at Art Mix until noon, so Ashley, Annie, James and I recreated Tuesday and went to the Y. We decided to pick up the big kids and take them to Toyokohana, which is like Benihana. That was a hit. James would eat rice for every meal, and Zach liked watching them cook his chicken right in front of him.

Look how beat down I look. Terrible.

We met friends at the park after nap and that night we celebrated with chocolate ice cream, Oreos and chocolate sauce.

Only one more day!!

Oh, but the last day was Friday and Ashley and I had big plans. We had a babysitter to watch the little ones so we could take Zach and Charley roller skating. There is a skating rink in West Houston that does a Toddler Skate every Friday from 10-12 for 5 and under kids. You can bring scooters and ride on toys. Zach received skates from Santa and was super excited to try them out.

You guys, this skating rink has clearly not changed since the 70's. It looked just like Spinning Wheels where I spent every Friday night of my 5th grade year.

The actual roller skating did not go over well. Though you would not know Charley had been crying and clutching at Ashley prior to turning on the smile in this photo.

Ugh, girls. No talk of poop or penises and they know how to smile.

Anyway, both kids gave skating a valiant effort, but ended up speeding around the rink on the scooters I brought with us.

He is only smiling because I whispered "poop sandwiches" in his ear and I am only smiling because my week is almost over.

We ended the week with ice cream at a local place near Ashley's house where the kids ate inside ("It is too bright!") and we stayed outside. Good luck to you ice cream shop employee.

Can you spot where I went so wrong? Was it the gazillion activities I crammed into basically four hours a day? Bingo.

I am still learning and that was a very painful lesson. I will know better next time. Don't try to do anything with me, I will not be available.

Farm Party

My friend Ashley had a farm themed party for her youngest daughter with a real life petting zoo. She had pony rides with the petting zoo, face painting and a balloon artist, Chick-fil-a and doughnuts for dessert. AKA a kids dream. She is an event planner, after all.

I was fairly surprised that both boys wanted to go into the petting zoo. They both tend to get skittish around animals, even if they are fascinated by them.

James just wanted to hold this dirty brush. Not to actually brush any animal, just to hold it and try to brush his own hair. I had to take this photo fast before i had to swipe his hand away again.

But then Zach and I saw this tiny goat. Could you die? Is he not the cutest thing ever?

And doesn't he look like a real farm kid kneeling to pet it?

Until it got a bit too friendly and knocked him over.

He rebounded fine. And you guys, it was funny seeing your kid get "attacked" by a 2 lb goat. Hilarious.

He also, of course, wanted to get his face painted. But instead of picking a "something" he said he wanted to look like an army man. So she painted camo on his forehead. He looked like a walking bruise. He wanted to get his entire face done, but he had a basketball game that afternoon. I didn't think he needed full camo on his face prior to running up and down the court at the Y.

James refuses to get his face painted. Refuses. He wants nothing to do with it, but will take a balloon sword to hit you across the knees with. Always be on guard.

70's, like the year we were born

My sister sent the below text yesterday:

Oh, these babies. They are so, so young. However, we are not.

This weekend Alex and I hosted a 70's themed party for our West Dallas Palace crew complete with 70's theme food and attire.

 I am not sure how Alex's kimono figured in, but at least he was in costume.

Why you ask? Because I love these appetizers that my grandma Jane used to make for her dinner parties made of Buddig beef, Claussen pickles and cream cheese. Oh I know they sound gross, but they are delicious. Alex also had a appetizer that his mom used to make where a green olive was wrapped in a mixture of cheddar cheese, butter and flour then baked.

So, we figured, if we have these gems hiding away, what must other people have? I sent out the call for everyone to bring a dish that their mothers/grandmother's made. I am not being sexist, men did not cook then. Anyway, our friends dug the idea and we had such dishes as ambrosia, pot pies, a cheese ball, meatballs marinated in grape jelly and onion dip with ruffles. As my mom said, "everything processed. That was the 70's".

Hillary asked if we were dressing up and I, of course, jumped right on that. So did (most) everyone else. My favorite is Mike who came as a 1970's Camero owner. As a previous two-time Camero owner himself, it was especially fitting. Though Jack as an aide to Nixon was clever.

We passed Zach off to Uncle Dave and Aunt Tami were he got to sleep in a fort, ride his bike to his favorite yogurt place and scare Tami by sticking his face in hers at 6:45 a.m. So he had a good night too. But James was with us. My sweet baby woke up with croup on Friday morning and was still not quite himself by Saturday night. Not that it stopped him from wrestling and karate chopping our party attendees.

As I was chatting with my friend KK about children, specifically how her daughter could avoid being swept up in the princess/tutu/everything pink that is all over the girls now a days it struck me that our moms were doing the same thing 30+ years ago. Back then it was an even more serious topic. While today the girls can wear all the pink they want, they legally have every right and privileges that boys do. Well, not in Texas, where the government wants to move into your uterus, but I digress.

Back then, our moms were fighting the fight to be a working woman, raising girls that would never know something they could NOT do; paving the way for us and our kale chips. And giving us the ability to put on a house coat, zip it up and roll cream cheese covered Buddig beef around a cold pickle without a second thought. Fight = won.

Death Sticks

I am not what you would call a helicopter mom. But, I like this about me. However, I might, sometimes, go a bit far in the other direction. My kids are the type of kids that (luckily for me) don't need my constant, constant attention and can, sometimes play on their own. Like at play dates. When I set up a play date with a friend it is because a) I like the mom and b) our kids play well together. Always A and B.

I like play dates because I get to talk to my friend while my children play with theirs. And we always go somewhere where my kids, both of them, can play on their own. If I have to play with them, that totally defeats the purpose, in my mind. I play with them plenty at home or when we go places just the two or three of us.

I had to explain this to my friend Ashley the first time we went to WonderWild. WonderWild is an indoor play area that is completely padded and fenced in. The boys and I arrived a bit early (rare) and I did what I usually do. I watch them climb, jump, swing, run all around to make sure they can do everything, then check my phone to see if my sister has texted me. Once Ashley arrived she asked a few times where my children were. I would look around, point them out then go back to my riveting tale of getting Uverse or how to watch paint dry.

Finally, I had to give it to her straight. "I am not going to be watching my children. I am comfortable with their abilities and if they need me, they know where to find me. If this bothers you we simply can't be friends, or you can watch my children for me. This is who I am as a mother." I told her.

She blinked at me then shrugged and said, "Okay." And while I think she does secretly keep a watch on my children, she never makes me feel bad or like a bad parent for not watching them every minute.

Well, this week she told me I was taking my casual parenting style a bit too far. Prior to Ashley and her girls coming over to play, Zach asked to play with toothpicks and marshmallows to "build things like we did at school". This is what he built at school.

You know I love a good project so I got out a pack of stale marshmallows and the toothpicks and told James and him to go to town.

Well, Ashley walked into my house at the end of the project and found, what she deemed, death sticks staring at her. She is so dramatic.

I put the marshmallows and toothpicks on cookie sheets to keep them from rolling around, what could be the issue? They played great with them, kept them on the table and had a nice time.

Well, I didn't really notice that I had a mixture of toothpicks. Ones with sharp points and one with dull points. Ooops.  And Zach had made some death stick pillows for Ashley's girls and took them (OK, ran them) sharp points and all.

So Ashley did what all my friends do, she swooped right in and took charge. She said the death sticks where done and threw them away. She even offered to try to figure out which ones were clean and dirty. I, obviously, told her that was not that hard up for toothpicks.

Then we just laughed. I am not above anyone telling me something I am doing wrong (with limits; like danger not like dressing) and get so much wrong with regards to parenting. I am glad to have friends that are more cautious than me to tell me when I have crossed the line.

Though, come on, they were just toothpicks. Right? Right?

No? Just me. OK, fine.

Safety Notice

No, this is not more about your need of an in-case-you-go-missing photo, though I truly don't think that can be overstated. No, this post is about a song everyone needs to teach their four/five year old's in case they go missing. I know you are like me and can't even entertain the thought of our children going missing. It sends a chill through every parent, every time. And while we take all the precautions we can, we can't predict the future and what crazy people do or how the best of kids dart away from us.

So, my friend Maria taught me a song to teach Zach so if gets lost in a store, at the zoo, etc. he will have my phone number. And it works. He was resistant at first, but I just kept making him sing it with me until one day he called me on my cell. We were in New York and he was the last voice I expected to hear on the other end. But there he was, super proud he had called me.

All you do is insert your phone number into Oh my darling Clementine...

713,555,1234
That's my mommy's cell phone number
and I learned it 'cause I'm four

Maria mentioned this in passing last year on our girl's trip (I am sure there was a funny story associated that I immediately forgot) and I was fascinated and came home immediately to make Zach learn it. He is very good with song lyrics, usually picking them up after just hearing them a few times. I figured this would actually be a beneficial song versus knowing all the lyrics to Thrift Store, the clean version.

He recently asked Liv if Alex knew her cell phone number when he was five and she had to explain that they didn't have cell phones. He was very perplexed.