The real reason to have boys: Mums

I am not even going to waste everyone's time adding the "I love my boys." part because you all know that I do. And more importantly (no offense), they know that I do. I tell them 52 times a day and kiss their faces off. Plus I am now their personal chauffeur in addition to being their cheerleader, waitress and nurse. So let's all just dispense with the need for me (or anyone) to say "I love my kids, but...", and focus on the only real thing that makes having boys vs. girls exciting - Homecoming Mums.

I saw an excerpt from Debra Duncan this morning and she had a lady from Micheal's, aka my mothership, talking about their mum selection and I remembered! In 12 years I, Kinsey Wall, will get to make a mum for Zach's date to Homecoming. I am already getting the glue gun ready.

Should I pause and ask if some of you are wondering what exactly I am talking about? Are you not from the south? Did you not have to have your giant mum pinned to your bra? I am confused....

So in small towns in Texas for Homecoming the boys (aka their moms) give their dates giant fake mums decorated with ribbons, teddy bears, other flowers, plastic shapes footballs, dancers, etc.. Now some girls wear them to school - I hope Kaitlyn doesn't do that. She will sound like a cow coming down the hallway with all the little cowbell's dangling. Plus she can't wear a backpack (you know for all her AP homework) and she will want to save the big mum reveal for the football game. Obviously.

Typically, everyone goes to the football game and wears their mum, then you go to the homecoming dance also wearing the mum. It is a thing. A slightly trashy thing, but a thing none the less.

I asked my dad to dig up my Homecoming photos to show everyone what I am talking about.

That was my boyfriend Senior Year of high school and his mom made the mum. And I loved it. I saved it - for years. I think I finally threw it away after college. Yes, you read that right, after college. She just put so much time into it, and totally got me and my 16 year old self.

I know I will be that mom. She too, only had boys, and she too, obviously knew how to work a glue gun. I am so excited to head to Michael's to buy the biggest mum grouping I can find and all the ribbons and crap to glue to it. So. Excited.

There could a slight hitch in my plan. My friend Hillary (mother of Zach's favorite baby) said that she did not recall having mums in high school and she went to the same high school the boys will attend. I am basically refusing to hear that. If I have to force Zach or James to be in the FAA to get a mum out of them I will do it.

I have lost Barbies, American Girls and ballet recitals; that is clearly the least they could do.

As an aside, the lady on Debra Duncan mentioned that there is a "homecoming expert" in each Michael's and you guys, I think I have found the reason I left my job. I wonder what the qualifications for that job are and if the one near me has that position filled....